Stay the Course

Sometimes the hardest thing for me is to just stay the course. I have such an incredible curiosity and desire for new information that it is hard for me to do the same thing over and over.  I have not quite figured out if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I know that as in all things it brings its own unique challenge to my life.  Human beings for the most part enjoy having a sense of stability and habit in life.  I do have the need for those things also, but mine structure does not come from the routines of life, but rather my relationship with my LORD and how He is always with me.  Therefore I am able to move and flow like a river, ever moving and changing the things that are in my course.

That is why I question if my lifestyle is ok...some days I think YES!  Others, when I find that I have left everything that I am starting to know (people, work etc) I think NO...why do I keep putting myself into a position of loneliness?  Because it is lonely.  I willingly walk away from established relationships for something else.  But my question is what else??  Is this just another way that my flesh wants to run and rule my life at the expense of those around me? or is it in fact my place, my piece?  These are real questions that come to my mind.  Questions I really don't have the answer for.

I can look back on people I have been in relationship or jobs that I have held and know that they are just fine and in fact probably better in some ways.  The LORD has used me in the past to question the routine, the accepted norms of the "way things are done".  That has been why I usually have difficulties, because I have gone into situations that were clearly troubled but those directly involved didn't either recognize the issues or didn't care or thought there was no way to change the "way things are".

I hope that my moving, always moving is in fact more for the greater good than the hurt of other.
My hearts desire is to love people and love MY LORD.  That is my entire focus.  Sometimes love does hurt more than we would like it to (discipline) but the outcome in the end is the prize.  Discipline.

My friend told me that I am a strong person.  I suppose that is true in some ways, in others I know that is far from the truth.  I think my strength comes from my faith.  I know in whom I have trusted.  He has never let me down.  And I do not anticipate that He will.  Unlike myself, I have let myself down many time.

I need to understand how to Walk in the Spirit.  This way I will never have to question if my decisions are correct.  Then I will know that I am walking in LOVE and I can stay the course...where ever this river leads me.

I am so grateful for the LORD and His love in my life.  I could never thank Him enough for all He has done for me and those I love.